Girl hottie, anyone?

Hottest female celebrity? I am always flooded with names like Jennifer Anniston, Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba, Keira Knightley. I was stunned when my guy friends name Keira Knightley. Hot is not the word for her, I thought she's far from it. And Jennifer Anniston hot?! No..I thought she suits "sophisticated and beautiful" instead of hot.

Someone I would say hot is probably her:














Oh yes...sexy Kate Beckinsale.
Perfect face, face features, body, hair. Wow.
She can make a straight girl want to turn into lesbian. She definately does. Anyone feeling me?

Canvas of a Childhood

Today I suddenly stumble across some innocent childhood memory. Aahhh...my childhood seemed ages ago. Though it may not be the perfect childhood that I dreamt to have because of the things that I've missed out when I was young, I actually love the simplicity and innocence back in those good old days. Nothing seemed to bother me and no worries could I see. The air was always filled with excitement and I'd run out with a cheer.

There were a few activities that I always engaged myself in, they were so innocent that they're actually close to perfection. I used to play with mud and clay in the barren land behind my house, catch tadpoles and tried to breed them, played with earth worms, looked for lizards eggs in my bookshelf and tried to hatch them, played "cooking" by the roadside with sand, leaves and small stones. It's amazing how such simple things can bring happiness when you're young. The smallest thing could make me jiggle in excitement.

I had some of the funniest and most bizzare favourite food too. For instance - I loved eating plain porridge with bovril, hot bovril soup with egg, butter and sugar spread on crackers and condensed milk spread on white sandwich bread.

Oh! How I miss those time when things seemed to be all beautiful, pure and innocent. I used to can't wait until I grow up as an adult, but now I've learnt just how complicated life can be as you grow. You no longer see the world as a land of true believing or some colourful and fun playground where there's a pocketful of daydreams but a place full of potential danger, hatred, jealousy, and stress.

If I'm given a choice, I would choose to live as a kid forever...forever in my childhood fantasy and utopia where things are so serene, simple, naive yet very beautiful.

Childhood holds a place enchanted,
Where no grownup can invade.
There’s an ignorance unequalled,
That just never seems to fade.
There is laughter soft and gentle,
With a hope that’s running wild,
And a world of dreaming,
In the heart of every child.

When Mr. licensed-prankster decided to be nice.

In regards to my previous post entitled "God is a licensed prankster" I would like to write more today.

Because today our all mightly licensed prankster decided to be nice to me. I went for an orientation session for my enrolled Human Bio unit and having a feeling that I will see my oh-so-good-looking unit coordinator - Darren. And guess what, I really did!

He looked as good as the first time I saw him. Young, witty, charming, hot, and cute! He was giving the speech and all through that session I sat there...my eyes following him around as he moved swiftly across the lecture hall. Though he did not recognize me this time because I am sitting in a approximately 300 student crowd but I was satisfied enough by just sitting there and admiring him. He is such a witty presenter...half the time making the whole lecture room roar in laughter.

What's even a better news is that he will be my Human Bio lecturer! Which means I will have the chance to see my young, hot and succesful lecturer every once a week *beams*. I have little mischievous plan in my mind, for instance - attend all his lectures, sit right infront, on the first row of seat in his lecture *giggles*. And no doubt, never appear in his class without having to do my hair, my natural-looking makeups, and decent clothes.

*Skips off in joy*

What's put behind and what lies infront...

Fallen Leaves
Brown and crisp
Dried and weary
Ever once green with flair
Now but dull and bare
Falling just like leaves
Are memories and dreams
Like the tides that ebb and flow
so our lives will hold
Ambition, anticipation
Boldness, bereavement
Courage, commitment
Much is left behind
Much more lies ahead
Reminders of fraility
Possesses, plagues
Consumes us all

God is a licensed prankster

I had an appointment today at 11am to see a unit controller in uni because I am enrolling in a Human Bio unit next semester for the sake of my master of OT next year. Dreaded it so much that I was so tempted to cancel the appointment but I managed to drag myself out of the bed.

The first thing I did - looked into a mirror and saw an ugly panda. I looked like a piece of shit thanks to my 3 sleepless nights. Checked the time and realized I had only 45 minutes to the appointment. Groaned but comforted myself with the thought that who would care if I looked bad today - Uni would be a deadtown and the guy I was seeing has got to be some old man. Tied my hair up, and put on the sloppiest clothes and off I go to Uni. And for your information, I've never stepped out of my house not having to do my hair first.

I sat slouching outside his office, whinging to myself when there was no answer on his door. I had been trying to get to this fella for the past two weeks and have been getting annoyed with him for always not being able to catch him. Minutes later, a guy walked from behind and said, "I assume you are waiting for me?" I jumped out of my seat and saw this fine lad standing few steps away from me and thought God must be kidding me - don't tell me he's Darren the unit controller?! I blurted, "Are you...Darren??", my eyes wide open, blinking. The second he nodded, I was immediately aware of my undone hair and my sloppyness, cursed and swore at myself while I followed him into his office.

Sitting infront of me was a fine, young, handsome, brunette man at probably his 28, he wore a very casual suit to go with jeans and a nice shirt. I couldn't take my eyes off him the minute we started talking. Nice lad with soothing voice, dazzling eyes and nice built. He talked with charm and confidence, with a tinge of sense of humour. What he probably did not realize was that I was melting and drowing in his charm. Good Lord!! I walked out of his office, continued to curse and swear. Why didn't I manage to catch him the last few times I was in uni looking reasonably good. Why this time when I looked the sloppiest! And who would expect such a fine lad to be working in the School of Biomed?! I mean, I've been there for fair amount of time and I've never seen a staff that's above average, honestly! They're either old or they're fat!

I took a slow walk home after my unlucky encounter and thought that God has got to be a very, very tricky and mischievous man! Don't be fooled. Haha.


Please Note: Name in this entry is changed for privacy reason.

It's sizzling hot

Be very well prepared to scroll down and die in your sit for something really HOT.
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I've gawked at these pictures over and over and over, again and again and again, and everytime I gawked, I melted in my seat. Yes, they not only won the Italians the World Cup, they're won all ladies' heart by posing for D&G underwear. They are fucking HOT, alright? Good Lord, this is another reason why I like Italy. I've had two Italian guy housemates before, they are not only hot, they're damn charming, very gentleman, helluva good cooks, and apparently...I've read some facts somewhere that Italian men are the best at giving their women multiple orgasms.

Delicioso!

Don't deny that you're not tempted!

Let it go, let it be..

I think we've been here before
I recognize this place
I've seen the marks of confusion
wipe out a single sign of grace
And I don't want to play anymore
Not when the stakes are so high
So before we circle round once more
I'm gonna lay down,
Lay down my pride

Let it go, let it be
when you have no choice
to make things different,
When you have no chance
to make things better,
When you have no say
to make things right.
Don't waste all your emotion on this
tit-for-tat game
Let it go, let it be...

And so I said to my friend, "Not that i dun love him anymore...that's not true. Sometimes it just comes to a point that you don't know how to love a person anymore and you are taken aback of what you're capable of doing to love a person or to save a relationship. I've done what i can..it's already beyond my ability..."

Random fantasy

*The last post made me sound trashy and bimbotic..hence removed. Haha.
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I was reading Philip Pullman's fantasy trilogy and in the books, all "human" have a daemon that's always accompanying them to wherever they go. When one is still a child, the daemon can change from one to another accordingly to the situation. For example, the main character's (Lyra) daemon - Pantalaimon - can change to a Leopard when running from a dangerous situation to a seagull when they're at the beach. An adult's daemon, however, will always stay the same. Daemons are potrayed like pet..but smarter with certain powers. They are there to help, protect and accompany their masters.

Then came a thought, what would I want as my daemon if I am one of those people in the book? One of my friend who is a big fan of those books reckons that mine should be some cat-like animal - a tiger, perhaps. Reason is simply he reckons that I am sweet and gentle but I can have a very agile, aggresive and strong side, especially when I talk. I was not very convinced..I thought I would want something in between a dog and a lion. I know it sounds rather bizzare to have something that's in between a dog and a lion...but..afterall, we're talking about fantasy here.

What would you like to have as your daemon?

The art of dating younger guys

I've never believed in dating a younger guy in my entire life. It just sounds impractical to me. Most younger guys are far too immature to me. I am very mature for my age hence my dream guy is always someone much older than me, maybe 5 years older, though I've never dated anyone 3 years older than me.

This time round, I thought I'd give it a try after some support from a couple of friends. It turned out to be the biggest joke. Because this younger boy asked me out for movie but did not have any intention to pick me up. In the end, I had to take a bus to city while he drove there. I found it so hilarious that I decided to tell my friend about it and I burst out laughing when she simply said, "He needs a How-to-be-a-gentleman book for Dummies.".

Telling another friend about it, she gave me a gentle pat on my shoulder, starred seriously into my eyes and said, "Your Victorian-style top, pencil skirt and heels will not go with boys wearing beanies and sneakers, you need a man with leather shoes..or at least Lacoste shoes, a more high class sneakers!". Haha! Indeed, indeed!

Considering a younger guy?? Maybe not. At least not for me. I still find this so ticklish! Hahaha!

Let bygones be bygones..

In respond to my last post...

Yes, let bygones be bygones. A lot of water has gone under the bridge, and there's no way on Earth that my feelings are the same now that they were then. I've decided to move on. Things are easier than I expected. I have had an extended period of hustling and bustling, I'm glad I've finally get a chance to slow down a bit now. It's good to feel like I'm sunbathing on a calm, tranquil sea rather than a rough sea which might stirred up any unexpected tsunami(s).
Thank you for everyone's concern, care and understanding and thank you for those who has kept me in their prayers all the time. I pray for a better, brighter tomorrow for all of us.

Yesterday a memory, today a brand-new world for me.

Initially when I started having this blog, I wasn't planning to post much about my personal life. Today though, I woke up finding myself in an absolute despair and lost that I want to pen down my feelings here, afterall, it's the only place where I can rant, be anonymous and not hurt anyone.

Things can happen and change so fast that yesterday and today seemed like the two distinct different stages of my life. Never in my life have I felt so different in just a day difference. I had to say goodbyes to 3 friends who were all leaving for goods on the same day, I met a few new people, I broke up with my boyfriend, another guy showed interest in me.

I woke up yesterday morning hugging my housemate goodbye. He's decided to move back to his country so suddenly that I didn't have time to actually process it. Not until I saw his room door open widely and his room bare empty, I realize every single member of the household plays a big part to the house.. though we've never been close but he has been a good housemate.

Then I rushed off to breakfast with one of my lovely girlfriend, it was her last day in Perth. She introduced us to one of her good friend at the breakfast. We chatted, camwhored and laughed. Then headed off to shop for a while before having dinner with another friend who introduced us his friend.

After dinner, I had a 3 hour rest at home before heading off to the clubs and pubs with them again. Before I was able to sit down to have a drink in the clubs, I had a call..it was a heart-wrecking call. I sat down outside the corner of the club to have a quiet talk, shed a few tears, broke up with my boyfriend and ran back to the club. There I met few random people and chatted for a while, smoked like a chimney and drank some. Another friend called up to meet at any club hence I went to meet him there, from his actions, I guessed he was trying to show some interest in me. Introduced me to two of his mates and dance a while before leaving the clubs to my lovely girl's home to shower before sending her off to the airport at 5am this morning. Had a last fast brekkie with her and sent her off the departure hall..

I finally hit home at 730am after being out for 20 hours with the deepest, cruelest pang of emptiness. I feel like I've lost everything I could depend on in Perth in just one night. Though I had so much fun being out there, meeting new people, enjoying myself...but really, those things are very temporary and very "fake"..I came home thinking it's ok I had a good day out, in much denial and fell asleep for less than 5 hours and woke up to a last sms my dearie girl sent to me before she flew off, telling me "It's ok. Life's short, we control our lives and emotions hence never let the bad creeps in. You're a beautiful person inside out, so I hope you'll find person who're better for you and more worth it.". I dropped my phone, sobbing uncontrollably to myself..shaking with despair..when finally things have set in. I felt immense pain surge up from inside, so painful that I physically, mentally and emotionally can't handle it anymore. It is not just these incidents that cause me to feel so painful, perhaps there are things that have been accumulating for the longest time in me, yesterday's incidents just it set off. I've broken down.

It would be a massive denial if I said no I am not bothered and sad at all. Sad, perhaps is even an understatement. Depressed may not even do me justice. Afterall, these people who just..left in different ways, are those who meant hell lot to me..my life just turned 360 degree around in a day's time..and honestly do not know how to cope with it.

I do hope my friends who read this blog give me a bit of space. I have obvious reason of wanting to stay so anonymous all these while, I hope my fellow friends who read this can keep these to themselves. I don't think I am in the stage when I can hear from a lot of people calling me to ask me if I am alright about everything and keeps reminding me of this. I do appreciate comfort and care, but at the moment, I need my own private moment to absorb things and get things over. Comforts and care in the comments here are obviously fine with me, I just hope things talked over this blog will stay in this blog. It's not yet the time for me to face the public in tearful manner. Much appreciated..