Stormy night

Stormy weather makes me feel good, it's weird.

One friend who originates from family that has some sort of strong psychic background once told me that there's an element in each of us..of which, the weather might come about bringing out the best of us. He believes that he's a snow person, he finds inner peace in a vast snow-land while his mom was perhaps a storm person who finds stormy days particularly calming.

Since then, I've came to realized I am quite a stormy weather person. I like to be alone on rainy days and am not very fond of socializing or any outdoor activities. I find the trickle of rain, gust of winds and occasional distant thunder roar particularly comforting. I like to stay home rugged up on a cold stormy night with my heater running, soothing scented candle lighted while I indulge in a cup of good hot tea, and my favourite tv show.

Its a type of feeling that I'll never get to experience on normal days.

oh no

My uni break is ending in 3 hours time, what a sucky feeling. This whole weekend was dedicated to having fun and it's one of my most productive weekend in terms of the varieties of things I did - watch a blardy funny play, drove 40 minutes to Freo to watch my friend in a live band and boogie with my coursemates, watch a colleague in a tournament; hung out with different group of friends and encountered different things like watching a fight in the club and nearly got myself hit by a car. Haha.

It's my last weekend stressed-free so I thought I should just make full use of it.

Tomorrow I need to get my act together again. Boo.

Oh, divine!

I have not felt so relieved, so stress-free for so long and I am enjoying every minute of it now!

I am not over-working myself with my job too this holiday, I sleep whenever I wish too, I go out if I feel like it, I catch up with friends who I haven't met for long, I go for random breakfast date with friends, I even help a coursemate to paint her house! Or when I feel like staying home, I simply stay in bed with Bebe til 5pm watching series, cook dinner and continue watching until I fall asleep again. I haven't felt so satisfied with an easy and simple life for a while now.

Oh, in the progress of searching for happiness in life I've learnt - it is not the alcohol, not lust, not parties, not your lovers, not academic, not money but the smallest, simplest and easiest thing in life that actually brings out the best of us. The key is to love your life and follow your heart, then automatically contentment and happiness will be just around the corner.

=) smile of contentment and satisfaction.

Confetti and champagne

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls - Anatomy no more!!
By no more, I mean I passed this unit, on the dot and so it's out of my life entirely. You have no idea how good it felt to finally be able to get over it. It's like this dreadful disease that's been making my life so dreadful and difficult and now I've won the battle.

I was very positive that I would fail because I actually needed 62% in the final exam to pass this unit and you know what, I got 62%! My final marks is standing at 50 on the dot - just passed. But who cares, as long as it's over. I was ecstatic and had to pinch myself several times to feel the trueness. I cheered over MSN and over the phone - long distance or local calls to family and friends. My holiday has finally started with no more burden over my shoulder.

I've cried for anatomy, prayed for anatomy, sacrificed sleep and fun for anatomy. Everyone around me felt the effects of it, heard my constant nagging on it now they can finally have a break too from anatomy. I never thought I would pass, I did not put away my anatomy books and notes, I made study plans for anatomy subpaper, so sure that I can't make it through. I even told my colleague that I don't believe in miracle unless I pass this unit - then I would turn into a girl who believes in fairy, angel, and miracle and would make an effort to go to church or temple weekly. Well...., I passed. And so I am going to church alone this Sunday, for good return, for thankfulness, for faith and grace.

And oh, most importantly.....I've learnt that miracles do happen. :)

Death

Few days ago my mom was sobbing on the phone over a friend who just passed away from an incurable disease. I was dumbfounded. Things just happened too fast, only about a month ago my mom told me about the friend's lung cancer. I happen to know that aunty too - soft spoken, caring, doesn't smoke nor drink..yet, she passed away at the age of 47, leaving two teenagers behind. I remember the last time I saw her, she was still like anyone around us - perfectly happy and healthy.

Since the news was passed on to me, I have this agonizing feeling brewing inside me. I'm not sure why I am quite bothered by it, maybe it's one of those incidents to remind me how transient and unexpected life can be. I repeatedly thought of her kids and husband too, as to what I learnt from my OT course - how losing a member of the family can impact and change the routine and role of the entire family keeps repeating in my mind. It's perhaps also a wake up call for me - that my parents are getting old, my grandparents are getting old, I've missed out so much with them these 5 years overseas, and I wished to reunite and live with them again. Maybe the old saying, family should always be together, is indeed very true. I'm finally understanding it and I'm missing home so damn much now.

Maybe it's also because of my age, stepping out of my teens year, out of my happy ignorant bubble I've come to truly understand how short life can be. Suddenly I thought, if I live up to 47 years old only, which means I have only 25 more years to live. I know it's silly to think like this, but let's face it, it's not impossible. It's one possibility in life that kinda smack me on my face as a good reminder to appreciate my time and the people around me more.