Straight hair accomplished

Self explanatory title.
I cheered silently in my heart as I starred at my hairdresser snipped off my curls.

Snip, snip, snip; yay, hooray, yay.

And, voila! The curls and brittle ends were finally gotten rid of. Long-live straight, healthy hair!

Ok, I am a bit tipsy now after...5 shots and some hot smooches. Oh, adrenaline.

A little update on temptation.

I succumbed to temptation and asked my date out for last night. You know what they say about guys preferring girls who play hard to get? So I kinda felt desperate when I actually asked him recently because he used to be more excited than me. Bahh..then I kinda comforted myself that this shall be the last time I ask him. If he does not ask for the next couple of weeks, then it shall be it..if he does, I'll gladly take his offer. After all, this date started with no direction and no expectation at all. I thought it would be surprised that I could pull it off for just that first night, let alone all these amount of time.

It's been almost 8 weeks I've been dating the same man and judging the things we do together, still we prefer to call it casual, no strings attached. To some people it's very weird and unacceptable, to some people this is called "Friends with benefit" while to some, it's called taking it slow. But oh my, I gotta admit it's gotta be the best choice I've ever made in my relationships despite it being hanging in mid air without much direction ..I guess that's the fun of it, that endless journey of mystery, fascination and surprises. And the best part - no arguments, no expectations, nothing bad literally!

So last night, my idea was to hit a restaurant in Freo and go see my friend sing in a pub. Turned out, it was one of the best night. We had good food, sipped some drinks, enjoyed the loud crowd, danced to the music and went back to Perth for a little.."us" time before we called it a night.

Problem is, when all things are so perfect now, if and when dating this man comes to an end..I know I'll miss his company a lot. And I know that that day will come.

Multiple sclerosis camp

It's been a week since I came back from MS camp which I went to. I spent 3 nights and 4 nights with 15 kids, aged from 10-13. They all have something in common - either of their parent have multiple sclerosis, they are young carers. This camp served as a respite for them. Before I went I dreaded it, when I was there I enjoyed myself and when it's time for goodbye, I had tears in my eyes. It's not just an experience, a learning experience and a getaway for the kids..they have touched me with their courage and have taught me in so many ways. I opened my mail this morning to a little surprise that put tears in my eyes..

Camp Poem

By Nina Wallace

The MS kids camp was run at Bickley this year
Forecast fine weather, showers to clear
However buckets of rain poured down every day
If it wasn’t for the leaders most wouldn’t stay
These four great people; Mitchel, Lisa, Shaun and Halle
Were lots of fun and ran activities daily

Mitchel was loved by everyone
She played all games and was heaps of fun
Apparently she sings so well
Please perform for us Mitchel

Thank you Lisa for your hard work and planning
You have been so thoughtful and understanding
Monkeys couldn’t beat you on the low ropes course
You completed the elements with learned force

Shaun is witty and in himself entertaining
He is funny and done sports science training
He’s got an endless supply of games in his head
Centipedes don’t scare him when he goes to bed

Halle’s the artistic one in the crew
She had something creative for us to do
That ‘something’ was to decorate a mask
Which I found to be an enjoyable task

So thank you so much for coming on the camp
We all had fund despite it being so damp
Good luck with your future careers
Now give our four leaders four big cheers!

-------------------------------------------

I missed them.

NB: Names mentioned in the poem have been modified slightly for privacy purposes. Author's name however is kept original.

Home

A friend's msn nickname reads:
"Home sweet home. This is a place to find happiness. If one doesn't find it here, one won't find it anywhere."

I do get more and more anxious as the day to go home approaches. The notion of home is always so sweet, warm and secured and sometimes, I want to drift with that notion. Recent years, I never consider myself having a home which I just go back to, drop my suit cases and indulge myself in warmth and love. There are times when I feel stressed and insecure alone in a foreign country, but sometimes it's harsh to admit that I'd rather be left alone by myself than having to deal with my family problem.

I was just telling my date last week, that I want to have a home to go back to. A proper home, one that fills with love and laughter because that is exactly what I need after a long tiring journey away from home. But ironically, at the same time, I do not consider myself having that luxury now - the home luxury..

You are not your mind.

I've always known that sometimes I tend to think too much, but I've never really identified it as a real problem. Recently I am reading a book, called - The Power of Now.

"Thinking can become a disease. Disease happens when things get out of balance......The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly - you usually don't use it at all. It uses you. This is the disease. You believe that you are your mind. This is the delusion. The instrument has taken over you."

True enough. Sometimes, I've become obsessive with thinking. When thinking starts, I find that it's so difficult to stop. Sometimes the reality isn't all that bad, but because I'm constantly thinking about it over and over again and every time I think, new thoughts pop up..new assumptions kick in and eventually they overpower my senses and logic and take over the reality - turn a good reality to a bad one instead.

It's that cycle..

Very often, I forget where there's a start, there will be an end.

In this very moment, a new life is born, another may have ended; one couple walks down the aisle, another files for divorce; two people fall in love with each other, another two fall out of love; one finds new hope to life, another decides that death is more comforting than life.

One thing I do know - the start usually brings laughters and joy, while the end brings tears and heartbreaks. Or perhaps it's just a vicious cycle, if there's no laughters in the beginning, there won't be tears in the end; and if one never experience pain, how does one know the meaning to joy?

And perhaps the only thing to life, is to embrace when there's a start and let go when there's the end. I guess, then..if only letting go is as easy as embracing.

To date or to not date

It's been a month since I dated this guy and to be honest I went out with him for first date without expectation at all. My clue was to be as brief as possible and I did not expect it to go on for more than two weeks. He is one of my most attractive colleague but I've always doubted his personalities, I guess I've been wrong.

Every time we went out we seemed to enjoy ourselves a lot. Last night was no exception and to be quite honest, he nearly swept me off the ground. We had nice dinner, we went for few drinks in busy bars and we went for a good one hour quiet chill out by the river. The best conversation is when you're connecting, you're enjoying each other's presence without much conversation. That empty stare into darkness and that serenity that wrapped around us while we take comfort in each other's arms. We made silly comments randomly, we laughed at each other, we do things that couples do. Part of me felt like our actions have crossed the definition of dating, yet I know we both are not ready for commitment but I felt like I need some clarification still.

So today, I gathered my guts to clarify things with him. We are not going to pursue any relationship at the moment but we both agree that we're enjoying each other's company a lot. He said he didn't want this to end because he's loving it. He reasoned with me why he did not think it's time yet to take things any further while he listened to my side of story. Both of us agreed that we still have our own issues to deal with from our past relationships. Come to think of it, I may never dared to admit that as much as I wish to have a stable relationship, I am as scared to commit. My past relationship has taught me some good lesson, to be wise, to take things slow and still embrace the moments. And I guess as much as I hate to admit it, I am still scarred. And so secretly, I do not have any complaints now because though these are just only dates but compared to my 7 months relationship with my ex, these dates are just simply magical. I guess what I am trying to say is the respect I gain from this guy on just 4 dates have surpassed the respect that I deserved in my past relationship.

He also said he should probably to let me know how much he likes my company, how he likes he can talk to me about anything... ...and me, I told him how he's got the best shoulder to lay on and a heart of gold :)